OK
So
There once was an hypothetical man
Who hypothetically of the Fair was a fan
Day after day
In sun or rain he would play
Hypothetically without any delay.
***
Now the hypothetical man he would brag
Not a lie. Not a trick. Not a gag.
How he could hypothetically eat
Everything sour, salty, and sweet
All hypothetically without so much as a snag
***
Well hypothetically at the man’s behest
And after eating all the Fair’s finest best
He done dare his good friends
To set aside their Depends
And get on the midway ride fest
***
So, the hypothetical man’s staunchest friends
Who’ve heard the tales of machismo without ends
Of our hypothetical man
Of the daredevil; a fan
Who loved the speed, and the turns, and the bends
***
Well, in line for the Fireball they went
All of their money now very much spent
Waiting patiently in line
Riders would cry and would whine
That Fireball really gets bent!
***
In line, tease a little girl he done did
Told of the pain and the horrors the ride hid
He smiled very mean
As she wet her nice jeans
and regressed to a very young kid
***
Into their seats, plopped HypoMan and his dates
As the restraints came locking down into place
The machine gave a Whirrrrrrr
The rest is a blur
Except seeing hypothetical man’s green face
***
You know this is an hypothetical tale
That creeps at the pace of a snail
Still, it is all worth your while
Don’t change that web dial
Sit back, and relax. I won’t fail.
***
So anyway, back to the ride
As the motion began to subside
There was this moan and a groan
That makes you sick to the bone
Hypothetical man needed to hide
***
But alas his friends loved him so
And followed on his heel and toe
Until he came to a rest
And hoped for the best
That the dizzy and nausea would go.
***
The someone came up with an idea
It seemed like a fantastic idea
It was such a great damn idea
That all said “what an idea!”
And everybody applauded the idea
***
The idea was as simple as this
They would walk to the Wheel of Ferris
It was slow and relaxing
Not in the slightest bit taxing
He could sit until again he felt bliss
***
An idea as simple as this?
Give hypo man a taste of bliss?
As he rode up the wheel
Instead of peace, he did squeal
“who’s stupid dumbass idea was this?”
***
As a rule, the man was too coarse
Bragged of his lust for the course
“The Midway”, he claimed.
“was just made to be tamed.”
“and broken like a wild blooded horse.”
***
You can only imagine the irony
As right there in front of all three
He puked up his guts
All the way from his nuts
And did it again just for free
***
Now, this is the Ferris Wheel ride
The one that slowly does glide?
Our once macho hypo man
Puked again and then again
All over – But just inside.
***
Oh were there howls and some hoots
As macho man was torn to his roots
He barely was breathing
The other two were seething
As everybody needed new boots.
***
Finally, the ride it was done
Signaling an end to night of great fun
Quickly exiting the ride
Watch the next party climb inside
Everybody broke into a fast run.
***
You know this is a hypothetical tale.
Involving a truly hypothetical male.
It was absolutely not me
I mean, common. Who? Me?
BTW, has anybody got ginger ale?
