By Mark David Blum

At the Fair, you can see a sucker born every minute. Stand by a game booth and watch a fool part with 1, 2, and even five dollars for nothing but a chance to win a fifty cent blow up doll. Yes, I understand the glory and glitz and its not about winning but rather it is about playing. The fascination and chance at being able to declare yourself a ‘winner’ could give a great lift to someone whose self esteem and self confidence may be waning. It is also a great way for a guy to show off for his date.

What if I told you that there was a game booth where you can pay $2 or $5 and no matter how hard you try or how successful you are, there is a ZERO chance of winning anything. Seriously, a game booth where you pay to play and there is nothing to win; no glory to gain and five or more dollars to lose in 30 seconds. Would you believe me? Would you believe me if I said people were lined up all day long just for a chance to play; every day?

Well boys and girls, right at the entrance to the tunnel to the infield, buried in the middle of the midway, is the dunking booth. I too volunteered to sit in there and insult cops all day long for charity. Bottom line is that I watched for hours over the length of the Fair and all I saw were folks lined up to give up their money … and win absolutely nothing. If you value your money, do not give in to the anger because even if you hit the bullseye, some person you don’t even know is going to get their pants wet. Wow, now THAT is worth $5.00. NOT.

Fortunately at the Fair, anger does not control everybody; just the suckers on the midway. I stopped at WSTM channel 3 and chatted with Chris Brandolino and introduced myself as the author of the Wall of Shame and the Doppler stories. Chris was friendly and nice and knew exactly who I was. He is to be commended whereas unlike his colleagues, he does not hide anonymously on an internet chat forum and batter me about.

Also, I stopped in and visited my friends at the Syracuse Police booth where again I was immediately recognized and yet warmly received. After a few exchanges of jokes about the Chief and Mark Balduzzi, it was clear that not every Syracuse cop has me as #1 on their hit list.

Same thing happened at the Onondaga County Sheriff’s Dept. display. Warmly received by the deputies then present, I did see two deputies I know from ‘work’ who deliberately kept disappearing whenever I would come into view. No anger from these guys. Even I did not get angry when one of the deputies came over and asked me not to smoke in their exhibit. No problem; I left and extinguished the cigarette. After a friendly conversation that did not include my being barefoot, I left there feeling not one bit of hostility.

There is something about the Fair that keeps you from being angry and lets you forget your troubles. While trying to snag some fudge to bring home, the Dairy building was jammed and the line for fudge was long and tedious. When my turn finally arrived, the server thanked me for my patience and was very surprised that I was not frustrated and angry like the rest of her customers. Telling her that I am a Fair Rat and have no schedule until midnight Monday, I told her to relax, take her time, and enjoy the Fair. Life is too short to get upset over fudge.

My anger is not immune and does at times flash. After all the time spent waiting for what used to be a childhood group, Blue Oyster Cult took to the Chevy Court stage. To sum it up; the concert was pathetic, awful, and without any energy whatsoever. Either the band chose to play all their ‘side B’ songs or I just plum forgot how really bad the band was. Indeed they did choose to play their one hit song and in between singing along, I kept yelling out “MORE COWBELL”. Besides the teachers, more people than I expected began to laugh and join in the chorus for more cowbell. My anger and frustration melted away and once again, the magic of the Fair took over.

One other thing caused my anger to flash. Somewhere on the fairgrounds, some exhibitor is giving away stickers to kids. Keep your eyes open and you will see the small circular stickers on kids and on the sidewalks. Using such terms as “LOL” and “WTF” is cute. Seeing 13 year old girls wearing stickers that say “I AM TEXTUALLY ACTIVE” was just wrong and got my ire up. The exhibitor, if I find it, will be exposed for his/her lack of concern and totally bad taste.

Folks, leave your troubles at home when you come to the Fair. Don’t fight it. Enjoy the experience and you will see and feel things you had no idea existed. Heck you might even get lucky enough to find a lawyer being the guest DJ at 93Q and introducing the Top Five at Nine.