By Mark David Blum

Carnies, especially the folks who run and operate the games of chance, have to have the most miserable of jobs. Trying to not only get your attention, but then to hold it and motivate you to give them a handful of cash you know you will never see again.

When I worked a booth a few years ago, I too had my own line and it worked. Folks would walk by our political booth, stop and read the signs, and keep walking. After a bit, I learned to see the customer when they are standing and reading, and then get their attention with what became my famous call. “Comon over. You know you want to. Just do it. Don’t be afraid. X number of thousand people have been here already.”

In earlier tales, I have told of the Rose Guy at the head of Miller Court and the night he once suggested to a man that, “surely your date is worth a dollar” and to which he responded, “nope she aint even worth that.” When he regained consciousness, his date and the rose were long gone.

This year, the carnies have all gotten themselves a new slogan to throw in your face as you stroll on by. If only I had a dollar for every time a carnie has said to me, “Are You Ready?” Yessirree. “Are You Ready” is how they are stopping you.

Having run through every possible quick retort, I have finally settled on one that makes them laugh too much to keep annoying me.

“Are you ready”?

“I am always ready. I eat viagara like candy.”