By Mark, a New York State Fair Rat (May Templeton Be Praised!)

The Rats are starting to come out of the woodwork. Droppings are everywhere. A tent is up here, a food vendor is setting up there, vehicles unloading, and workers busy as bees can now be found at the New York State Fairgrounds. I was there among them yesterday; hunting for the veritable smorgasbord of job openings.

You would never know that in less than three days, tens of thousands pounds of cellulite will cram itself through those gates and see a fully operational Fair. Yesterday, Monday, it was nothing. There was not a T-Shirt or cold soda to be found. At least I did get to settle an old score with an old nemesis … and for that I feel good.

Claustrophobic children are going to love the dinosaur up near the Grandstands. Some enterprising psychiatrist might want to set up a 5 cent consultation booth nearby. There is no way anybody is going to get me down that dinosaur’s gullet.

I noticed too that ‘Captain’ Jeff Brown brought his fighter jet to the Fairgrounds behind the Ag Bldg. Maybe he will give us a ride; or at least show us where the pilot sits … if he can.

Something I have never seen before but which shows that New York surely knows how to capitalize upon ALL her resources; I saw state prisoners hard at work on the Fairgrounds. Yep, a busload of cons under supervision of guards was meandering about and presumably doing the work that even the illegal immigrants wouldn’t do. Is this how the Fair intends to turn a profit this year … by use of slave labor? Just kidding folks, work is work, and an honest day’s work is good for any soul. Besides, how could the cons complain … they are at the Fair!

Strates Shows is not there nor are any of the independent contractors (read: game booths) that follow them. You could play several sidebyside football games on the emptiness that is soon to be overwhelmed with lights and noise and those young, tight … rats.

I will be back again and again until the Fair starts in hopes of finding that perfect vacation job.

If not, then I certainly intend to be first in line and the first paying customer to enter Gate 1 to open the 2006 New York State Fair.

However it turns out, there are a million scenes yet to be played out and a million stories yet to be written.

I shall endeavor to get them all.