There are these shoes new on the market. They are called “crocks”. The wife and kid have had them for more than a year now and swear they are the most comfortable shoes in the entire world. They are also the most god-awful ugliest shoe ever imagined.

When they first got the shoes, I constantly referred to them as ‘crack head shoes’ because only a crackhead would be stupid enough to wear such an ugly shoe. I was repeatedly told that everybody is wearing them and that crocks are the in-thing right now. “Double dog dare ya”, I responded to show me another human being who wears crocks. For a year now, not a single pair of crocks did I ever see.

At the Fair, crocks are for eating, not for walking. Yet, this year, there they are: On sale at the Fair. Everybody is starting to wear them. I even saw a man wearing them at the concert the other day. They still looked gay and ugly, but apparently are now starting to be popular.

So, yesterday at the 4:00 p.m. Chevy Court concert, one of the women around me said something that I couldn’t hear over the music. I asked her again. She said loudly, “I HAVE A STONE IN MY CROCK.”

Four hundred heads turned around so fast, I felt a breeze.

It took the woman about 3 seconds to realize how that just sounded. She grabbed her shoe, started waiving it around, saying “crock” … “it’s a shoe” … “I got a stone in my shoe”.

Too late Patty dear, the damage was done. Your crock was the focus of everybody’s attention.