Heart A Tax

By Mark David Blum, Esq.

Well, it's that most wonderful time of the year --- again. It is our National Rendezvous with Debt.

For a nation that was founded by a bunch of rich white guys who did not want to pay their taxes, we should be proud. America has become the land of equal opportunity where anybody ... white or black, male female or otherwise, Jew, Muslim, Christian or Klan ... has the opportunity to become a great American taxpayer. Hard work and success will be rewarded; with increased taxes. The road to riches is lined with the receipts of a thousand write-offs. Children, no matter how incorrigible, are among our most treasured deductions.

Yes, April 15th has become a day of wonder and excitement here in the United States. As one, we join and spend our day pondering into the hands of which foreign leader our tax dollars are going to land.

Rather than pay taxes based on income, we should predicate our taxes on weight. Clearly, those persons who are fat consume more goods and utilize more resources than does your average skinny person. Every April 15th, we should all line up at a government office, step on a scale, get issued a tax bill based on our weight ... and then step straight into a voting booth.

Either way, I firmly believe we should align the dates that we pay our taxes with the date we cast our ballots. Too many months elapse and too much pork slithers down the trough that at voting time, we forget who did it to us and how hard. Having your taxes due on Election Day will be a constant reminder to legislators that their job is to serve; not lead or command. Parents, we do not need.

Please, for me, and for the sake of your loved ones and friends, and for the future of the United States and Her government, please go a little bit slower today. Stay relaxed, drive safely, and don't do anything risky. We need all the taxpayers we can get --- to keep funding the invasion of Iraq, handing out hundreds of billions of dollars to millionaires, and to fund bridges to nowhere.

Remember, one of the great blessings about living in a democracy is that we have complete control over how we pay our taxes . . . Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.

Thank you for your support.

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