By Mark David “O’Blum”, Esq.

What I just don’t get, my dear Irish friends
About this day; upon Green it depends
Is the connection that you make with St. Patrick of old
And the quantities you drink, until you’re passed out cold

Didn’t St. Patrick bring “Christ” to your Isle?
Teaching those heathens; their Gods to defile?
I will never understand how you folks do relate
Massive overdrinking with the achievements of the Saint.

Do you feel closer to God as you throw up your guts?
And argue and fight and suffer bruises and cuts?
As you clutch onto the earth holding the last piece of grass
Do you feel the Power of Jesus overcome you at last?

Perhaps it is tomorrow when the hangover wins
That you truly affirm how you regret all your sins
Maybe the way to find the path to the Lord
Is to drink til your sick and fall overboard.

Perhaps only then when you feel the pain
Of the throbbing headache, the nausea, and your tummy all drained
Perhaps only after you’ve healed and crawled out of your bed
Will you honor your Lord until the day you are dead

I just don’t understand the mix of booze beer and God
Its not that I’m an idiot, stupid, or a clod
The world you choose makes no sense, you see
But what the heck, why not, pour a double for me.