By Mark David Blum, Esq.

The State Fair has become an anemic version of its predecessors. Yesterday, I was invited by a friend to give him the VIP tour of the fairgrounds. We ate, we drank, and I showed him some of the few things that make the State Fair special. To my dismay, he even ate shark.

Then came the request. He wanted something to drink. He wanted something more than soft drinks or beer. The man wanted a man’s drink. Knowing as I do that there are five full service bars at the Fair, I immediately headed off for the nearest one. The one at the horse barn was my closest target.

Now for years, the horse barn has had a full service full bar for public access. I always believed that horse people were flush with money because it costs so much to raise and train horses. Having a full service full bar there only seemed a natural response to a market demand.

When my friend asked me to find a full service bar, I was sure this was going to be easy. We meandered over to the horse coliseum so my friend and I could partake of several shots of tequila. After all if you are going to walk around the fairgrounds, having a good buzz on takes the whole experience to a whole new level.

But Dan O’Hara and his family friendly atmosphere strikes again. When we got to the horse barn, the bar was gone. Nope, not a drink to be had. Of course, they had something new and exciting that is not available elsewhere at the Fair … sushi. To my mind, horse owners and breeders are not the sushi types so I wondered of all the things they could have offered at the Fair at the Coliseum, sushi would be the wonder and mainstay of the menu.

Taking away the Bar is just an insult to fairgoers. When we were left high and soaking looking for a warming beverage, the horse barn was a let down. Drawing upon my knowledge, we walked all the way to the Empire room where their outdoor patio was likewise shut down and no full service bar service was available. Of course we had no interest in going inside the Empire Room so I have no idea if their bar was fully stocked. But since you cannot witness anything of the Fair from inside the Empire room, that option was immediately detonated. Same too with the VIP bar at the Gate One entrance. Why be indoors when the world is spinning out of control outside you.

As a bona fide Fair Rat, I have to hang my head in shame this day as I failed to produce even the slightest hint of a legitimate bar. Yes, it was fun hanging out in the wine tent (the one by the grandstand is the only worthy one) and downing two bottles of Swedish Hill Cabernet France`. It dulled the pain from having failed a friend. But if not for lousy weather and a deliberate effort by Dan O’Hara, I would have come through for a friend and made a Fair visit all the more better.

Seriously Dan … sushi? At the Fair?

The situation got no better as the day progressed. Despite the rain and occasional torrential downpours, we kept moving and I kept showing. At six o’clock it was time for the daily parade and I was just giddy that I was actually going to make it. The parade started quick enough but stalled immediately when a tractor broke down. The parade itself was just like everything else Dan O’Hara has done to the Fair – it was short, lacked content, and was basically stupid. The only thing remotely interesting about the parade were a group of SEIU members wearing hefty trashbags as rain gear, all printed up with their logo and each member (except the guy at the end) was carrying a sign supporting the President’s health care agenda.

It is getting more and more difficult to find the joy and fun at the Fair. No, the reason is not that I am aging or that by not working there, I am more distanced from the Fair. Rather, the bottom line is that each succeeding year that Dan O’Hara remains Herr Director, the Fair is gutted and more and of the things and places and sights are disappearing.

I really did try to show my host a good time and I think we did well. Two bottles of wine helped a great deal. But I shouldn’t have to rely on alcohol or other intoxicants to enjoy the Fair. It used to be easy. It should be easy. I miss it being easy.