By Mark David Blum, Esq.
“Welcome back.”
No way I could miss the first morning of the Fair. Expecting it to be clean and before the Fair workers are exhausted and stressed, the first day of the Fair is usually clean, organized, not quite completely set up, and prices are highest. It is also governor’s day.
I missed Governor Paterson cutting the ribbon opening the Fair. Apparently I was a half hour late. It wasn’t my fault but when I arrived at Shoppingtown to get on the bus, the bus that was there was declared “full” right in front of me and the Mrs. At least we got to be first on the next bus that arrived about 45 minutes later. Even when the door opened on our next bus, some teenagers just had to cut in front and make it on the bus first. No matter how you do the math, the first person on the bus arrives at the same moment as the last person on the bus. Pushing your way on first gets you nothing but sure makes you look like a jackass to your fellow riders.
Though we missed the ribbon cutting, our paths crossed with those of the Governor at least twice. He was posing for pictures and shaking all the hands he could. The news reported that his security was high but from my perspective, there were few if anyone standing between the governor and those who wanted a picture with him. We avoided the picture since we are not fans and will not be voting for him in the next election. (And no, it aint cuz he is Black, its cuz he is incompetent).
Rest assured the Fair is here. Strates may have scaled back the number of rides it provides, but it brought back a couple old favorites. The roller coaster is back. The Merry-Go-Round is back. The Quick Drop is also back. They also shuffled the rides around as if they are being deliberately difficult. But Strates puts on a good show. Now, if we can just get them to put out some more tables and benches, life would be good.
In one of my earlier years Rat Tales, I pondered what it would be like to be homeless at the Fair. I postulated that homelessness was just as much a part of New York as agriculture. I concocted a scheme whereby I intended to emulate a homeless person and see how long I could survive at the Fair. My plans included how to eat, where to sleep, and how to stay clean and out of the elements. I intended to blog the entire experience.
Today, while copping a moment of sitting and relaxing, my question about homelessness was answered. I saw an honest to goodness real thing homeless appearing person, complete with shopping cart. My Mrs. queried how he managed to pay his way into the Fair. Given I know five different ways imaging how he got in was not as intriguing as to whether he was going to stick around for 12 days and live at the Fair. I wonder if he stayed. I wonder if he is still there.
Even though it was relatively early in the day, the lines were unusually long at certain places you don’t normally see them. A favorite bathroom was jammed. All the buildings were full of lookers. I kinda felt rushed through the photography exhibit. For the record, the Best of Show for Photography is a ho-hum shot. You would expect better. The Best of Show for Fine Arts is a depiction of seven samurai walking across the ocean. It is an interesting choice but there wasn’t a great selection from which the competition was intense. Downstairs was again the Fairs and train sets exhibits. The reproductions of the State Fair Midway is a perfect replication and has I think every ride ever shown at the Fair. All that is missing is the PEOPLE. How can you have a Fair and a bustling Midway without people. I have tried to get the guy to change the same exhibit he shows every year but who listens to me?
Speaking of lines, I am sure nobody got a potato today. By 11:00 a.m., the line was half way out the door. The Mrs. took one look and said “fawgetaboutit”.
All in all, the first day of the Fair is the great tease. You get to see all the regulars and the usual all the while saving the weird for later. There is a giraffe zoo. That, I gotta see.
But for a first day, it was a good day. It was peaceful, calm, mellow, and quiet. There are fewer vendors and some of the bottlenecks have been opened up. The tower at Times Square sucks because the Fair forgot the one benefit the former marker. Namely, there was a schedule for the day posted and you could see all the goings on and plan accordingly. Now, the tower is just a lunch tray.
The real good news is that water is a buck. That is down significantly from last year. My Mrs. reports she saw 2 bottles of water for a buck, but I cant verify that cuz I didn’t see it.
I hope to see you at the Fair. I am told my lawyer shirt is more hideous and worn than ever. My family begs me not to wear it. My question is how could I not?
