By Mark David Blum, Esq.

I am not a picky eater. Food for me is just sustenance; a basic human necessity like breathing, shelter, and sex. It is both a blessing and a curse as you never have to ask me what I want for dinner but I also never have a preference or a suggestion. Put it in front of me and nine times out of ten, I will eat it without comment. Once you have had to scrounge for food or stand in food lines, you learn very quickly the role that food should play in your life.

But there are times when quality really matters. In town this week were friends; an employee of the NSA, his dancer fiancé, and two generously endowed eye candy. The goal was to find a nice restaurant where the food would be top notch, the libations en point, and where we could sit in comfort and have a wonderful long meal and conversation. The Olive Garden was booked and Taco Bell is having lettuce problems. What used to be a fabulous Thai restaurant when it was in Mattydale, the now Lemon Grass is just a McDonalds with an Asian twist. Once the crème de la crème, Pasquales on Hawley, moved downtown and became little more than an arrogant and pompous wine bar. Nowhere anymore can locals really go to impress visiting City folk.

So, I opted for the Arad Evans in Fayetteville. Once upon a time, the Arad Evans was the premier Upstate New York establishment. As a former regular at their bar on a Friday night, I watched as the restaurant deteriorated with the loss of their bartender and then their Chef. Over time, the restaurant and bar became an unpleasant experience after a hard week at work. Eventually, the Mrs. and I found a new watering hole. One time we did give the Arad Evans one last shot when a genuine Hollywood producer friend was visiting Syracuse back in 1998 and we choked down dry miserable food.

After an intentional self imposed near ten year hiatus from Upstate New York’s allegedly finer restaurants, the time came again for me to entertain out of State guests seeking a quality dining experience. There are no other choices when you are trying to make an impression. Also, rumors were that Arad Evans had since retained new bartenders and a new Chef. “Hope” always springs eternal.

So, I recommended the Arad Evans. My guests and I were going to meet up there at about 5:00 pm in the bar. I arrived about ten minutes late and apparently just in time to prevent a fist fight between the manager and the guests. The crime? Apparently, tables in the bar at Arad Evans are not for bar patrons. Well gee Mister Obvious, forgive people for thinking that tables in a bar are for patrons to sit. Despite the handfuls of cash about to be thrown, the lanky 13 year old manager approaches and tells my out of town guests to get out of the bar. This is when I came in and we were quickly ushered to our table. I made sure after dinner that the manager got my card and my thanks for his insult. Many will be the years again before I bother again with this restaurant.

The waiter, ‘Ed’ was a hoot. One of my guests was struggling to remember his name so I penned it in big letters in ink on the tablecloth in front of her. “ED”. Problem solved; though I should have been more formal and written “Mr.” before it. Try as he might to make an impression, our dear Ed could not pronounce the names of the dishes and was constantly corrected. When we agreed we all wanted a bottle of Shiraz (no, not each, but to share), a very anemic wine list was produced; a list so weak that I did not recognize a single label. Turning to ‘Ed’, I asked him to select one for me; smooth and mellow. Five minutes later, he comes over, UNSCREWS the top of the bottle, and pours a taste. Despite me telling him the taste was bitter, sharp, and quite miserable, he insisted on filling everybody’s glasses and left the bottle on the table. When it came time for a second bottle and we again explained we wanted a smoother calmer Shiraz, Ed again produced an unknown label, UNSCREWED the top, and poured a second bottle of obviously cheap dark colored Australian vinegar. For the privilege, we were charged upwards of $50.00 for each bottle. For that price, in addition to good taste, I expect a cork to be pulled for me to snort and poke around – or at least a Happy Ending.

During the salad course, whilst everybody else was eating, I was doing most of the talking and entertaining because I am a lawyer and I get paid by the word and shutting me up is almost an impossible task. At a point when Ed came in to check on us and to clear the table for the entrées, he gathered up everybody’s salad plate -- including mine -- despite the fact I still had a mouthful of food and was really enjoying my salad. I sat dumbfounded and pouted as Mr. Efficient took my plate away just as I was about to fork another helping of weeds.

From all I can tell, the entrees went down well. The minimalist menu offers mostly fish dishes and had very few options for my visiting Texas carnivores. Everybody seemed to really enjoy the food. The new chef at Arad Evans has a flair for presentation and is indeed a quality saucier. Clearly, he cares about his work and how it is being received. If only management had the same attitude, guests might actually enjoy an entire meal. Oh, and the coffee was good.

The bottom line for the Arad Evans is that if you can survive the management and the early courses, the entrée should be pleasant. If not for the fantastic company of some amazing people and the tales of life shared amongst good friends, the evening would have been a complete embarrassment. As it was, the event was a waste of money. Thank goodness I did not pay.

My evening however was not a total waste and did indeed have a happy ending. I realized how lucky I am to know and be in the lives of some wonderful big hearted people. That they choose to share their lives and involve me is an honor and tribute to just how good they are. No lousy meal, no Mister Ed, and not even a wet blanket manager could ever take that away.