By Mark David Blum, Esq.
(An act of pure fiction; maybe).
I shook open the Sunday newspaper and there in print the size of which I haven’t seen since November ’63, was the screaming headline, “SCIENTISTS DISCOVER MISSING LINKS”. "Wonderful", thought I as until now, Darwin had me convinced there was only one. Underneath the banner headline was a photo captioned with the name of the an aging professor famous for his work in genetics.
The picture of Dr. Jamison Conrad, Nobel winning physicist and genetic engineer, who for the last thirty some odd years worked tirelessly in the recesses of Nazerine Memorial Hospital desperately trying to bring life back to dead tissue. There he was standing at the door of his plane. His expression was one of sheer terror.
Nazarine Memorial and Conrad have over the years become household names because of the miraculous treatment developed by the doctor twelve months ago. A fourteen year old girl had lost her leg in automobile accident several years previous and Conrad was able to stimulate the alleles on her chromosomes to reproduce the codons necessary for leg tissue re-growth. Within four months, her leg had re-grown to almost half its original length. Today, one year later, she was dancing ballet.
The story attached to the headline was even more astounding. Somehow, Conrad and his eggheaded colleagues had managed to inject a chemical with a highly charged atomic structure into an isolated DNA codon. He then managed to get the electrical impulses resulting from the transfusion to appear on some form of oscillating scope. Conrad and his team were able to make “contact” with the very essence of life. In the interview below the picture and headlines, Conrad explained how his process had unleashed and exposed the very essence of life. He was quoted as saying that DNA managed to explain and provide answers to the questions that have plagued mankind throughout all of history.
* * *
Five years ago, when I wrote my first book, the plot was similar to that which I was now reading. Some crazed lab assistant, working for the Red Cross had created monsters by altering the genetic structures in white blood cells slated for leukemia transfusions. The book sold far more copies than its literary value commanded. The publisher paid well and many more copies were on order. My life was coming together and I had a future. Today, the collected works of ‘John Q. Public’, a clever nom de plume, is collecting dust somewhere in the bowels of some obscure library.
After my first successes, my creative achievements were less and less promising. Nobody was buying my manuscripts. Rejection slips piled up. Home life followed a parallel course. Over time, nobody had rocketed up and crashed down the social ladder than had I.
Explanations evaded me as I struggled to understand why nobody was giving me the pity I so desperately needed. My wife endured it as if it were a cross to bear. Eventually, I went from job to job, career to career, and found myself nowhere.
I tried again to write. My fingers refused to dance and sing along with my muse. I felt like I was rolling boulders around the keyboard and hoping for the best. “It” was gone. One defines “it” as being that ineffable quality that allows an artists fingers to dance across a piano or computer keyboard. Instead, I see slime on the monitor and hide from the more eloquent prose coming from my young daughter. Sisyphus had more luck than did I.
As I struggled to find a way and make meaning and sense of my life; one day along came Dr. Jamison Conrad and his grand announcement. By the time I read the second paragraph of the news story, the solution for which I so desperately sought became obvious. It hit me like a bullet between the eyes.
* * *
The particular codon with which Dr. Conrad had made contact had reacted violently to the infusion. Thousands of polypeptide chains had formed and chemically emitted an obtuse electronic signal that was received and recorded by the computers. By tapping into the university’s mainframe, Conrad was able to decipher what he believed was intelligent code. He then reran his test and got a different response; again decipherable into code and then English.
Up until this time, every time Conrad ran his test, it always went one way and it was through this science that he was able to do the work he did. This time, according to the story, DNA was actually responding “intelligently” to such an extent that Conrad was able to “converse” and prompt responses to questions. For lack of a better way to say it, DNA was breaking a code of silence maintained since the inception of life itself.
Somehow the reputation and credibility of Conrad and Nazarine Memorial have to be taken into consideration. If it were anyone else, from the Mayo clinic to the National Institutes of Health, such an announcement would headline at the supermarket checkout lines below Brittany’s drunken vagina. But this was Dr. Jamison Conrad headlining “America’s Newspaper of Record”.
Shaken and frightened, Conrad had hastily called a news conference to whom he declared his findings and the potential they hold for mankind. Few if any understood him at the time until they took out their high school science books and by the time reporters figured it out, Conrad was gone.
* * *
I was really taken aback by the shock from Conrad’s revelation. In 34 column inches, he had destroyed the meaning of life of myself and so many millions of others. Think about it: What is the reason for life? Family has no meaning. Success and innovation only further “their” cause. Procreation of the species only insures “its” survival. War, peace, love, hate, wealth, poverty, and politics are rendered inconsequential other than to advance “its” cause. DNA has spoken.
For all the multitudes of human generations that precede us, we have pondered the very reason for our existence. Who am I? Why am I here? What is to become of me after I die? These are the riddles over which miles of text and rivers of human blood have spread across the generations. Moses had the answer. So too did the Carpenter-King. Adolf Hitler, Socrates, and Herbalife all had the answers. At least they all thought they had the answers until the moment Dr. Jamison Conrad announced to the world his communication with DNA.
* * *
As his limousine approached the hotel for the press conference, Conrad stirred nervously in his seat. He wondered to himself how am I going to tell the entirety of mankind that their lives are pointless and without future. Looking at the emissary from the Vatican escorting him to his destiny and watching the old man looking out the window, Conrad knew this was not just some disease that a little research and dedication can cure.
Exiting the car and coming to the microphone, Conrad began to explain how he had been working for many years in the field of genetic research in hopes of finding a solution to humanity’s problems. He described his efforts in the field of genetics and then provided a few working definitions to aid the reporter’s comprehension of what was to follow. He then explained to the crowd his achievement in contacting DNA. Conrad concluded his preamble by asserting his confidence in the decoding of the messages transmitted by DNA.
As every listener stared dumbfounded and speechless, Conrad continued about how he had “asked” DNA why it had produced as many different beings as it had and what their purpose of DNA’s existence. Without hesitation, DNA ‘stated’ that all living creatures, from pond slime to bipedal homosapien were but machines designed as being a life support system for the evolution of DNA.
Some 3.2 billion years ago, volcanoes spewed forth water vapors, carbon dioxide, and nitrogen. As these chemicals mixed with remnants of the planet’s first atmosphere collected on cool surface rocks, they warmed in the sunlight and radioactive decay, DNA began its evolution. Soon realizing it needed a shell to protect it against the environment, it went about adapting to the safest refuge. Early on, it was pools of water that protected DNA from radiation and super heated atmosphere, so DNA evolved structures we know as algae which adapted to water and utilized sunlight for food source. No other food sources existed. The rest of the story you already know.
Along with the continuing evolution of DNA came the continuing evolution of the planet. DNA quickly realized it needed different structures or beings which could best adapt to the particular changes in environment. Remember, it went from a single pool to the planetary scale. Some DNA remained in the pools and in the algae form. Others went on to redevelop more complicated shells; from trees to Tyrannosaurus Rex to West Texas rednecks. This explains the variation in species over time and history. In the end however, DNA gave us the advanced intelligence not for our own good but for us to build what is best described as being a better mousetrap. DNA seeks a better shell and we are its progenitors.
* * *
Before Conrad could respond to the questions that slowly arose from the din, the Vatican’s emissary emerged from behind and produced a piece of paper upon which he proclaimed the Pope’s response to Conrad’s findings.
The Pope had received Conrad’s discovery with distrust. It was not until he was shown the truth by every conceivable test and inquisitor, did the Church acknowledge another Galileo had come about. The Pope conceded and declared it irrefutable the sum and substance of Conrad’s findings.
Struggling through the text, the emissary concluded by saying, “I am to assure each and every one of you that the good doctor’s findings are not evidence of the non-existence of God but rather his findings show us who God is.”
* * *
With that, John Q. Public, the once famous and almost made it, writer, neatly folded up his newspaper and set it aside. He stood up, walked into his bedroom and rummaged about in his underwear drawer. The answer was obvious.
He pulled out the .38, put the muzzle in his mouth, and pulled the trigger.
