By Mark David Blum, Esq.

While riding the Canal, all sweaty and dreary
My muscles screaming. Eyes all teary
The victim of geese and wayward bikes
20 some odd miles and my body went on strike

I had had enough and needed a break
I wanted to die – to swim in a lake
So I slowed down and stopped and parked in the shade
And drank the last drops of my sun-baked lemonade

Relaxing and cooling and nursing a smoke
(Shut up. I know. Someday I will croak).
While I sat there at rest, it should be a stroke of luck
To suddenly see two people who were trying to fuck

I had slowed down and rested at a favorite spot
Never realizing that others had also come to get hot
While resting with my back against an old tree
Such a scene had unfolded; in a clearing near me.

That damn canal, it’s always my luck
To see critters wanting to suck and to fuck
On one recent ride to and from my truck
I happened upon a fucking duck

But this time, fer sher, what I seen twerent no duck
Twas people that was moaning and aching to fuck
Twas but a young couple down on their luck
Dry-humping and rumping … eww, was it yuck

Yessiree, there they were and they sat
They groped and they touched and they clawed up that
Leaving me sitting there. With a hope and a prayer
Waiting for more. How far will they dare?

I sat gnawing on my candy and dripping with sweat
But nowhere as heated as that girl was wet
You could see the passion growing and inching out of the gate
The boy was about to ejaculate.

Then they stood up and sighed, with her back to his front
His hands wandered down her front and onto her ______ (rhymes with bunt)
She writhed while he rubbed. I could see clear as a bell.
When suddenly she let go a guttural yell

And another and another each one louder that before
To myself I kept praying, “more! Show me more!”

Then as if on cue, she turned around and knelt
She crawled up close. Undid his belt
Using her breasts, her hand, her mouth
A lot of attention was paid to his “down south”

This was too much. Twas time for me to go
I had had enough of that boy and his gurgling Ho
Back to sweat. My own balls to bust.
I rode off down the canal, eating plenty of dust

Smiling most evilly as I moved down the path
The memories of the scene made me snicker and laugh
The green monster of jealousy fueled my energy
As I realized remorsefully, HAY THAT SHOULDA BEEN ME!

But if there is a lesson to take from all this
One great reminder to keep life full of bliss
That my dear friends, comrades, and cohorts …
Is NEVER watch a sex scene, while wearing bike shorts!