By Mark David Blum, Esq.

Last night I had the rare treat of being the guest of honor at the grand re-opening of the newly remodeled Chez Bentwood. If it was wonderful before; it is totally awesome now. Definitely put this one on your list of things to do before you die. Note that any meal at Chez Bentwood is by invitation only. They are not listed in the yellow pages and do not take reservations. You seriously have to know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody, etc.

Nestled against a rushing brook and a stones throw from a waterfall, Chez Bentwood provides the perfect rustic ambiance for either an indoor or outdoor soiree. Whether it is a party of two or two hundred, Chez Bentwood is up to and will far exceed the challenge and expectations.

I was met by the twin hosts, ‘Green Head Fred’ and ‘Old Joe’ (Gay and moody as they come; not that there is anything wrong with that) and escorted throughout the entirety of the refurbished establishment. Nobody who loves outdoor cooking could miss the massive investment made to upgrade and put in some serious cooking machines. Even the entryway has a new ‘old brick’ look. There was also talk of aliens and ghosts of presidential girlfriends who haunt the neighborhood. Spooky, eh?

After the quick tour (again) and while sipping on some ‘bubbly’, I hung out in the kitchen as the line chefs did their work. One of them, the tattooed Lady, was a most amazing creature, and if my heart were not pledged elsewhere, …. The more loaded I got, the more I got to skewer and involve myself in their operation. Clearly, I was out of place and should be devoting my attention to the owner. Alas, but he too was face first into baptizing his new cooking machine and was sipping his own brand of ‘bubbly’. So off I went exploring and entertaining myself.

Finally, dinner was served. There was a selection of steak, chicken, sausage, and shrimp. Mixed with a dazzling array of colors by using a harvest of vegetables, I could not help but feel humbled to be an invited guest. To use mere words to describe the multitude of flavors available in every bite would be an insult. Some of it had a delicate flavor; some had a taste so awesome that it grabbed you by the throat and demanded your taste buds’ immediate attention. To taunt the host, I queried about any purely vegetarian options, and suddenly, voila` … a dish made to order.

Since it was a warm beautiful evening and the brook was rushing, I chose my meal outdoors. The sounds of silence mixed with the outdoors (ruined only by the occasional passing car) were a perfect background for the perfect meal. At one point, they tried putting on music but there was so much bickering about what kind that none of the Gays nor the Host could resolve the problem. I got tired of their dispute and I settled the issue for them. (Can’t go wrong with Lynard Skynard). Being outside, eating a perfect meal, watching water and a listening to a waterfall, all the while being in good company, made the experience at Chez Bentwood truly a perfect evening. Honestly, it doesn’t get any better than that.

The real surprise was yet to come as I was treated to the creation of a new life form. Wanting to design a dessert just for me based on my tastes and stuff that I like, I watched as the chef from Chez Bentwood do some truly wicked things with red licorice. Using nothing but sticks, his new oven, and some secrets; I watched an entirely new succulent taste treat born right before my eyes. (Probably the only thing better tasting is the strawberry shortcake at Longways; but that is another discussion).

Between fun and food and good times, I was lost in the lush ambiance of Chez Bentwood for almost five hours. It was sad to leave as the party went on for hours thereafter and from what I hear this morning, I missed all the “good stuff” that younger healthier folks do when us old folks go home and to bed. But, that’s OK as there will be other times, other chances.

In sum and substance: Had God made me a mutant and given me ten thumbs instead of fingers, I point have all ten thumbs pointed high up in the air. Ten thumbs up for Chez Bentwood. May the best of their yesterdays be the worst of their tomorrows.