By Mark David Blum, Esq.

I am really serial about this. Every year, Chittenengo New York, home of L. Frank Baum author of The Wizard of Oz, pulls out all the stops and holds a week long celebration in honor of the author and his most famous novel.

It has never made any sense to me why folks would want to celebrate and make heroic the conniving murdering cruel stars of the tale.

Remember the so-called Good Witch, Glinda? The facts are that she is a lying killer who, with that con man from the Emerald City, conspired to use and manipulate Dorothy to commit the most gruesome of murders. Glinda deserves the death penalty. She should not be elevated to the status of heroine.

These are the undisputed facts:

Dorothy, through no fault of her own, is whisked away in a tornado. When the dust settles, she finds that the house has fallen on and killed the Witch of the East.

Then Glinda arrives. You would think that Glinda would have shown some sympathy and remorse at the sudden death of her sister. Instead, Glinda brings all the little people out for a giant party in the town square to celebrate the death. “Evil” and “oppression” are among the buzzwords used to justify the outpouring of glee and to divert the reader’s attention.

What really is going on is something far more sinister and morally corrupt. Murder is being planned. A patsy is being groomed.

Then, a house falls on The East Witch. After which, the coroner rushes up and most sincerely says that the East Witch is most sincerely dead. No mention of a homicide or a cause of death is made and the entire matter is quickly forgotten. An autopsy is ignored and CSI is not called.

But, suddenly a pair of Ruby Slippers is at stake. Glinda claims they have magical powers. What the slippers have are RUBIES: Lots and lots of rubies. Translated into English, this means that the shoes are worth a lot of money. If you doubt this is about the shoes, think about this: Who was the last person seen standing next to Dorothy when she went home? Glinda. When Dorothy wakes up at home, did you notice the ruby slippers were gone? Where did they go? Who got them? Dorothy wore the same clothes in Munchkinland, Oz, and Kansas. But her shoes changed; and changed back.

The most damning question is this … At the end, after the Wizard escaped, Dorothy asked Glinda again how to get home. Glinda says, “why Dorothy, the secret has been with you all along, just click your heals three times and say ‘there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home”. Well, if this is true, why didn’t Glinda just tell that to Dorothy in the first place? Remember back in Munchkinland where Glinda so convincingly says, “Kansas … What’s Kansas … I don’t know no stinkin` Kansas”? Click, click, and click.

Now, back to the evidence. East owned the shoes. Upon hearing of the death of her sister, west comes flying in but North prevents West from taking possession of the shoes. Immediately, you see a severe dispute erupt over the ownership of the precious and valuable shoes.

Glinda clearly knew she had no priority rights to the shoes. If she did, she would have taken them for herself. As it turns out, Glinda’s rights to the shoes only ripen when her other two sisters die. Whether she is angry with her mother for giving East and then West the slippers or whether it is just a case of sibling jealousy, Glinda has become a very bitter and unsettled spirit. (Did you see that dress … and that hair … a woman clearly not grounded).

We know for a fact that witches can control the weather. Remember the ‘sleepy-bye’ snowstorm that West brought upon Dorothy later in the story? If Witch West can do it, then surely Witch North can do it as well. What is a tornado if not a weather event?

Suppose this: North brings on a tornado which captures an unsuspecting and very innocent young girl and drops her and her house on top of Witch East; killing East instantly. Surely, you noticed how very careful "someone" was to crush everything but the shoes.

An unsuspecting girl and her precious puppy are suddenly alone and scared. Looking like a rejected bridesmaid, North floats in to comfort and begins to worm her way into Dorothy’s confidence. They throw a big party. Dorothy is treated to lollipops and introduced to local celebrities. She was sucked in.

It gets worse. Glinda snatches the slippers from East and puts them on Dorothy. Glinda feigns having no knowledge of their powers but acknowledges they must have some kind of power. (At the end, Glinda suddenly knows all about the shoes and their powers. Was there a seminar?). Why involve this little girl who has just lost her way? What did Dorothy do to be suddenly thrust between Glinda and EastWitch? Glinda must have known the only way EastWitch could get the shoes would be over Dorothy's dead body.

Feigning ignorance of that ‘Kansas’ place, North sends Dorothy down a dangerous path. Dorothy is accosted by brainless strangers, vicious animals, and heartless bumbling fools. Hidden in the written confession and not in the video version is the tale of how Dorothy winds up in a field, out cold in a drug stupor, and if not for the valiant King of the Field Mice, she and that lion would have died right there.

Finally arriving at the City of Emeralds, Dorothy is again lavished with gifts and attention. Here, the proof is that she was drugged again. Seeing multi colored horses is apparently not unique to Syracuse residents. LSD or some other hallucinogen was probably in the water.

The so-called ‘Great and Powerful’ manipulator asked but a simple favor. Convinced her only escape from the horrors of separation and torment was to comply, Dorothy agreed to the mission. Maybe young girls and worthless fools really do believe that Witch East would have voluntarily surrendered her broom or allowed it to be stolen. Observant and enlightened folks realize the broom was as precious to Witch East as any child is to its' mother. The Scarecrow asked specifically if they were going to have to kill the Witch and Oz changed the subject.

At the sign in the road, encountered by the gang en route to "Witchy's Castle 1 Mile-- I Would Turn Back If I Were You", that brainless boob of a Scarecrow is seen standing there with a pistol in his hands. Where did he get it?

Glinda and Oz knew Dorothy would have to kill to get that broom; or be killed in the process. If Dorothy was killed, the plotters would have come up with a new plan. If Dorothy succeeded, then the Witch would be dead and Glinda and her co-conspirators would have their shoes.

Well, we know what happened. The Witch dies. Oz escapes. The slippers are gone. Dorothy and her mutt are released. Glinda disappears. (Every major player in color had a mirror in black and white. Everybody, but Glinda).

One last thing: When Dorothy is told by Glinda to follow the Yellow Brick Road and she gladly starts to skip off to Oz, notice how it starts. The Yellow Brick road starts at a point and then winds around itself a handful of times before it heads off out of Munchkinland. Notice that as the Yellow Brick Road starts to unwind, it unwinds around a red brick road heading off into the opposite direction.

Answer me this: Where does the red brick road lead? KANSAS?