By Mark David Blum, Esq.
And so it is written, in the First Sentence of the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, that “Congress shall make no law … abridging the freedom of speech.” One Democratic Congressman has gone forth to attempt to enact just such a law. Specifically, he seeks to prevent erectile dysfunction and male enhancement ads from appearing on radio and television between the hours of 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. The Congressman argues the advertisements have gotten more bold and intrusive in our daily lives such that they need to be squelched.
Randomly resurrect any of our nation’s Founders and hear them speak loudly in opposition to Congress passing such a statute. So long as our nation’s airwaves are being paid for the commercial time and what is being said is true and not a fraud, then so what if the listener is offended. Change the station, mute the volume, fast forward it, ignore it, or walk away. While one’s right not to be assaulted begins at the point of their nose, one’s right to not be offended does not begin at one’s eyes or ears.
But the Congressman may indeed have a good idea. I too am annoyed by Smiling Bob and hearing of his Chubby Bag of Goodies thanks to Enzyte. Thanks to Cialis, I now have to bathe in separate tubs. “Viva Viagara” runs an endless loop in my brain. Male erectile dysfunction drugs are definitely buying up large quantities of advertising space and time. Enough already. I know there are drugs out there that will give me an erection that I hope remains for 3 hours and 59 minutes. All I need do is ask my doctor for written permission to have one – or several. Face it, these are recreational drugs of the first order.
If ever we needed to censor the airwaves, most definitely male enhancement drugs are the place to start. I don’t want to have to explain the commercial to children. The subject is not one I wish to broach with anyone. Like any of a myriad of issues that are personal to the individual I don’t want to know or discuss how often or how hard. When they air, the commercials always bring about an uncomfortable quiet. I wonder sometimes what is going through people’s minds when those spots run. No wait, I don’t wonder and don’t want to know.
While we are the subject of drugs that involve sex and sexual relations, I want the KY His and Hers commercial banned as well. Erupting geysers and spewing volcanoes are more than I want to see during dinner. Let’s also include that commercial for Yaz, the special wonderdrug for PMDD. From what I gather on their commercials, PMDD is PMS on steroids and we have a drug for that.
There are several birth control prescription advertisements I would like to see gone as well. If memory serves, the “Pill” was the greater liberator of Womankind. Nowadays there are medical procedures and prescriptions that make that annoying Pill a thing of the past. I would note here that as freeing as was the Pill for women, the male enhancement ED drugs are liberating for men. Sex is no longer a labor of love. But we don’t want to talk about that.
This entire discussion also raises a whole new class of items we should toss in with the ED drugs when we banish them to the outskirts of TVland. I think the Congressman should send along menstrual products. I don’t want to see swimming or playing or twisting or bending while using one particular menstrual product or another. It frankly is a subject about which I have heard enough. Save it for late night. Toilet paper is another product that should be bumped to the darkness along with hundreds of other products. Frankly just about every advertisement I see is annoying in one fashion or another. What annoys me most is how they interrupt the show or event in which I am otherwise engrossed. Advertisements of every nature should be banned from 6am to 10pm.
I think what we really are seeing is a Congressman who is uncomfortable with his own sexuality such that he is more than annoyed by the ED advertisements. These commercials strike at the core of something in him that the Democrat is trying to bring about a law the excises the advertisements from the hours during which he may be in front of a TV. Why does this lawmaker seek to bring about the power of federal legislation and intervention into even smaller niches of our lives?
Indeed the nation’s airwaves are matters of limited public resource and Congress is certainly empowered to police and control the content transmitted to the public. We saw this in how the FCC fined CBS $1million for Janet’s nipple and the Supreme Court saying the FCC can fine hugely for even a fleeting “fuck”. I can remember a day when our nation debated our hard liquor distillers that they should not be banned from television. Girls Gone Wild is all over late night but not in the daylight.
It is not the banishing of ED products to the overnight that causes so much discord, but every time Congress legislates morality it ends up with oppression of the majority by minority. I sincerely doubt the Congressman cares a whit about the sensibilities of others but rather it is his own level of discomfort that dominates his legislative agenda. There is nothing offensive, immoral, unethical, or discomforting in an advertising war between competing ED manufacturers. Men are buying these products in huge quantities warranting the large advertising budgets we see expended. Query why one or two Congressmen think they and not the buying public should decide between Levitra or Cialis.
Our nation’s drug manufacturers are beholden to stockholders like you and me to show a profit and hence a dividend for all to enjoy. Such windfalls come about as a result of increased sales in what is obviously a lucrative market. In the dark days of our current economic distress, it seems counterproductive for Congress to lessen our rights to free speech and curtail the ability of a lawful legal duly entitled publicly held corporation to make money.
Clearly the Congressman is out of line in his proposed legislation. There is no reasonable or rational basis for banishing ED products. Being offensive to one person’s sensibility is the wrong justification for an exercise of legislative control. The best solution is let the consumer decide. With every limitation on free expression comes a growing impotence of the People to have their say in the public discourse. We need our ED advertisements. Give us more Yaz. Let KY His and Hers the time they need to sell their wares. Let us not walk down that slippery slope where a few decide for the many how much pleasure they can have in their lives.
